What Is Self-Care and Why Does It Matter?

Knees sitting, relaxed in a bathtub of blood red water, surrounded by candles, yellow flower petals, and other self-care items

Self-care is taking a warm shower on a cold, winter morning to kick start your day. Self-care is eating your favorite piece of ripe fruit. Self-care is turning off your phone and going outside to listen to the birds. Self-care is purchasing the pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing for 2 months. Self-care is giving yourself 4 hours to bake your favorite homemade bread on a Sunday. Self-care is unfollowing, blocking or deleting contacts who are toxic to you. Self-care is repotting all your house plants in hand-painted pots. Self-care is buying an expensive water bottle, so you actually drink enough water throughout the day.

Wait, what is self-care?

Simply, self-care is caring for your own physical, mental and spiritual being in a way that is healthy and beneficial to who you are. It’s how you take care of yourself day-in and day-out. It’s how you establish your boundaries and respect your own ethics and morals. It’s a way to protect your physical, emotional, spiritual and mental health.

For some, it may be a very physical act of exercise, skin care and nutrition. Others it may be more spiritual rituals performed in solitude in the darkest hours of the night. Self-care looks like many different things for many different people.

But self-care isn’t always fun, relaxing or aesthetically pleasing…

If your perception of self-care is all spa days, face masks, massages and elaborate baths, you haven’t seen the whole picture. Of course, these fancy and aesthetic practices are a good starting place to developing your own self-care practice. But that’s just it: they’re starting places.

Self-care extends farther into the depths than just fancy skin care.

It’s deep, shadowy and healing. Self-care isn’t meant to always be pretty. It’s not something you do when you already feel great or relaxed. Sure, self-care during the good times is fun and easy, but that’s not what it’s for.

Instead, it’s is meant to be a habit you create to help you heal your shadows and nurture yourself to keep moving forward.

💬 Click to Tweet: Self-care is about being the parent your inner child always needed. It’s about caring for yourself the way you deserve to be cared for.


And that’s why self-care matters

You deserve to be cared for with compassion, understanding, and love. And you’re the one who first and foremost needs to care for yourself that way. You cannot expect to continue moving forward without paying attention to your needs and nurturing yourself to serve others. #SelfCareisNOTSelfish

I understand that it’s easier said than done, especially when you’re struggling with systematic and societal forms of oppression or marginalization. But if you have 3 minutes in the parking lot of your work before your shift starts to spray on some of your favorite perfume or to drink some lemon water, then I want to encourage you to do it.

Get deeper insight into self-care and how it can help you by watching this video. To see how to begin implementing self-care into your daily life, keep reading.

Creating self-care as a habit

Self-care is a habitual mechanism to allow you to heal your shadows and nurture your best, future self. Without establishing a habit, self-care cannot be the mechanism to move you forward. Instead, it becomes a special, once-in-a-blue-moon manicure and pedicure you do with your family for your aunt’s 54th birthday. Of course, these celebratory instances are fun, relaxing and refreshing. But they cannot be your only definition of self-care.

Instead, focus on mini and maintainable habits you can do everyday to help you take care of yourself. Even showering or drinking enough water should be considered self-care. Creating these small self-care habits will allow you to have something to grab hold of when you’re feeling too depressed or tired to move forward. You will have tangible practices in your back pocket to use on those days when you can’t get out of bed or feel too overwhelmed. And even if you fall off the wagon in the bad times, you always have something to come back to once you’re feeling able again.

💬 Click to Tweet: You deserve to have intentional and healthy self-care habits to get you back on track when you don’t know how else to move forward.


You get to define what self-care means to you

Ultimately, self-care are the rituals you do to help you function, heal and nurture yourself. Because you are a complex being, your self-care rituals and habits are different from mine or anyone else’s. And you get to define what those rituals are, when and how do use them and how they serve your being.

Do you have a self-care practice that you do on a regular basis? If not, what do you need help with, so you can start?

Ready to begin your spiritual self-care journey? Pre-order the Spiritual Self-Care Workbook now!




Knees sitting, relaxed in a bathtub of blood red water, surrounded by candles, yellow flower petals, and other self-care items titled "What is Self Care and Why Does It Matter?"

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