Have you ever been so burnt out…
That just the idea of sitting down at the altar is unbearable. Just the thought of trying to do energy work tonight is giving you a headache. Better lie down.
That your voice is silent in the middle of a spell. You know, that spell you worked on for a full week before the new moon and now you have no energy to mutter the incantation.
That no crystal can lift your vibrations. You even tried to buy the biggest crystal you could find and still nothing.
That the moon changes phases, but you can’t bear to look up. You have no idea what day it is, let alone the phase of the moon. The lunar eclipse passes you by, unfazed.
That nature is too bright, too alive, and too loud after the dull calmness of winter. Just walking your dog takes the wind out of you.
That even just reading your horoscope seems long and tiresome. Why even read it if you’re just going to forget about it in a few seconds? Does it even really affect your day?
That participating in your community–with your tribe–seems like a large feat. There are so many rules, so many conflicts, and so much complaining. Even if its all just in your head.
That your work and social life are suddenly affected, leaving you lonely. You could go out with your friends, or just mindlessly scroll through the internet. Why is the latter more appealing?
That distraction is suddenly so unavoidable that it is becoming normal. Where is the old normal, and why can’t you get it back?
That your health starts to suffer because the only energy you have for the day is curling up under your covers and avoiding the light.
That other people begin to notice, ask questions, and look forlorn. You just play it off, like nothing has changed.
That trying to get back on your feet takes a lot of work. You write lists, create inspiration boards, and talk yourself up. But the true struggle comes with the do, and not the want.
That suddenly, you aren’t just burnt out on your spirituality, but instead your burnt out on living your whole life to the fullest.
Today I’m flipping the script.
I’ve noticed that I’ve taken a turn down ol’ burn-out lane. To be frank, it sucks. I’ve been here before, many times in fact, and even a few times for this blog. I don’t like being burnt out, and it affects my entire life. So one thing I decided to do was to take a lot less pressure off myself when it comes to the topic of this blog.
Sure, sure, sure. I’ve seemed to change my main focus many times. From music, to the paranormal, to witchcraft and paganism, and now to… well…
Honestly, I just want to chronicle my life.
I’ve been paying a lot of attention to some of my favorite youtubers and bloggers, and I’ve noticed that most of their content is not very strict to one topic. Sure, a lot of online personalities I follow create beauty-based or fashion-based content, but they also aren’t afraid to dabble in other things.
I am truly just sick of focusing on one aspect of my life.
So, that’s what I’m not gonna do. Sure, a lot of my blog posts on here will stay pretty witchy, but I’m going to be adding in outfit of the days, shopping hauls, follow-me-around’s, and other fashion-centric things to my YouTube channel. I love fashion, and I think by ignoring it, a lot of my viewers are missing out on a large part of my personality.
I also realized that I’m not really that pagan.
I am what a lot of people would call an “atheist witch,” which means that I don’t really pay attention to any gods or goddesses, or even powerful spirits, in order to do any spells or workings. I tried really hard to connect to some pretty main-stream Celtic goddesses (The Morrigan, Brighid, etc.), and there was never a connection.
I still 100% do magickal workings, and I also try to connect with land, plant, and animal spirits, but I don’t rely on those spirits, or make many offerings to them. I just do me.
So let’s get back to it.
This post was very raw. Except for spelling mistakes, I didn’t proof-read this post. I just typed out my stream of consciousness. Last week, when this post was brewing in my mind, I was worried that I was going to be publishing too much personal content. And then, today, I realized that this is my blog. This is meant to be personal.
Anyway, I am truly hoping that this post will help pull me out of the funk that I’ve been in the last month or so. When you watch my March Favorites on YouTube, you’ll hear me complain about how awful the month truly was…
Here’s to April. Huzzah.